I came across an old blog today that I would like to share.
DATED: NOVEMBER 8, 2006
Ever feel like you have to move on and get away? Lately I have. I'm going to apologize to my friends that I have neglected recently. 'It's not you, it's me...'
It's been really hard trying to make my life decisions, sometimes you have to move on. It's been easier to push people away to try to focus on what's really important, such as life.
I feel like I've been missing out on something more important than just me. I could be doing more. Even being in a job for the last 11 months has been crazy. I get blinded by monotany and routine and every so often it'll drive me crazy. Through the months I have learned to supress it and mask it with, activities every night of the week: MNF parties, Karaoke Tuesdays, Bowling Thursdays, Party Friday, Party Saturday, Football Sunday, and it starts all over again. And oh how much fun we all had!!
It's difficult to fit something important in there. Trying to volunteer, work out...does anyone else feel that they get bored of the routine of life? Does anyone else feel that something more should be happening than just working, having money, partying, and drinking? I feel like I'm just wasting away waiting for something to happen. Waiting for my life to begin, but life is happening all around and I'm not taking advantage of it. I think about all I want to accomplish; getting back into my faith, trying to find my way, trying to help others instead of myself, and trying to be a better person.
I realize some people might not understand my thinking, but if we all thought the same way, we would have such a boring world. I have learned a lot from everyone, and love everyone for it. I knew where I stood in HS. I knew where I stood in college. I see where I stand at work. Now I have to find where I stand in this big world of ours. It might just be time to see what else this world has to offer me....
Wow! It's pretty amazing to read this and to actually know how far I have come. Four months after I wrote this I went back to church and began my search again for what is right. Knowing where I'm at now and knowing where I was at when I wrote that I can honestly say that I've come SO far. Can even go as far as Fiji! Never in a million years would I believe someone if they told me that I would be going on a missions trip to Fiji to share the gospel with hundreds of people! 2007 into 08 has really been absolutely ridiculous! God has really showed me grace and for that I am thankful! I am thankful that He never gave up on me and that He's loved me through my journey. He is such an amazing and loving God and for that I am truley greatful!
Abide in me, and I in you; therefore walk with me. Moses 6:34
The second half of 2008 into 2009 should be a true sacriment to Christ as I step in faith and follow the path to which I feel He's guiding me. Even then I felt the pull to help others, and that is exactly what I will be doing. Leading others to Christ. What better help than that? Life is too precious to waste. For the first time in three years I will be on my own, but not alone, as I will be abiding and walking with Christ. I will never be alone.
God is love.
